It’s only 8 a.m. as you drive away from the school drop-off and you are already exhausted. Yes, you just pulled off the “got to school on time” battle – but it was a victory earned through a dozen small standoffs.
Mornings serve as a launch pad for the whole day. Calmer mornings can bolster a child’s ability to focus, engage with peers, and shake off small stressors. Taking concrete steps to convert manic mornings into marshmallow mornings can benefit everyone in the family.
Here’s where the ORCA framework – Observe, Reflect, Connect, Act – can help you get started.
O – OBSERVE: Write down every task completed between waking up and school drop-off, for every family member, no matter how small (brush hair, eat breakfast, walk the dog, etc.)
R – REFLECT: Review your list. Can any tasks be eliminated entirely or only done on weekends (make the bed)? Which ones can move to the night before (gym bag by the door)? Can the tasks that cause the greatest friction be simplified?
C – CONNECT: Bring your kids into the conversation. Talk with them about having mornings that feel soft like marshmallows.
Explain how the morning and evening routines are intertwined. Engage them in a way that helps them feel part of the solution. Remember, you are aiming for calmer mornings for you too, not just for the kids.
A – ACT: Experiment with the new routines for at least a week. If one piece isn’t working, resist abandoning the endeavor – try a small tweak instead. Maybe the school bag needs to be packed earlier in the evening. Does your child need a visual checklist for the morning and evening? A sticker for each finished task turns “getting ready” into something they’re doing for themselves, not something you’re managing for them.
No matter how much you plan, some mornings will still feel chaotic. But the goal is to have more mornings where you wake up excited to start
the day. With a little preparation, smoother mornings are possible. And when the kids get to school on time, it’s a win for everyone – another marshmallow start to the day.
Frances is a therapist who helps elementary school children and their families navigate times of overwhelming anger, anxiety, and grief – helping everyone to find their footing again. Learn more at www.FrancesBarry.net.