Well, it’s that time of year again! Mother’s Day is upon us. Whether you are a mother, someone celebrating their mother, or someone who knows a mother, this day surely brings up a lot of emotion.
While the holiday is a nice reminder to those we love and care for to take some time to reflect and appreciate their mothers, it can sometimes fall short of achieving its purpose.
Sure, we mothers understand and appreciate receiving breakfast in bed, a handmade present, some macaroni jewelry, a well thought-out card, flowers, or maybe even a photo book with pictures of our favorite little people. However, if we are being honest, most moms just want some time to relax, rejuvenate and refill their “self-care” cup. And boy, do we need a refill!
If you are a mother reading this, please know that it is okay to plan how you want Mother’s Day to go. It is okay to make requests of your family, husband, and kids. While one day could never be enough to replenish the affection, care, and energy you willingly and lovingly give as a mom, how you address this day has the power to put you on the road to achieving and modeling self-care for the day and the future.
Being a mom, while “rewarding,” is incredibly taxing. It’s one of the few, if not only, jobs wherein the worker has a minimum requirement of 90 hours per week, needs to be on call 24/7, receives no sick or vacation days, the actual skills required for success are unknown, and at times learned on the fly, and most importantly the pay is $0 pro rata. When you think about it, the fact we have so many wonderful women doing their best to fill the role of mother is crazy! However, day in and day out, we mothers punch our time card and get to work. We are the supporters and stabilizers for our families. Our role matters.
However, sometimes in carrying out our daily tasks and what we think we “should” and “need” to do for our families, we forget ourselves. We mothers are prime candidates for burnout. We put ourselves off, forgetting or purposefully neglecting our own needs to complete the endless list of household chores and demands made on our time. But alas, we mothers have needs too!
If we fail to address our own personal wishes, wants and desires, the whole household will come crashing down. No mother wants that. If you do not refill your “self-care cup” you will not have energy for the day-to-day demands of life. A worn-out and drained momma is no help to anyone. Self-care is not selfish but an essential job duty in your role as a mother.
Ok, fellow momma, you may be thinking, “Cheryl, we get it. Self-care is important, but how do I do it?” Well, self-care is truly unique to each one of us. In general, it focuses on the items and activities we need to address our own physical, emotional, and mental needs. So, what activities replenish your reserves, reduce your stress, and improve your overall sense of well-being? The most common sources of replenishment come from eating healthy food, getting good sleep, partaking in mental and physical activity, and fostering social and spiritual connections.
For example, on Mother’s Day you could ask for a family outing to the beach, make a request for dinner from your favorite restaurant, plan a spa day, or ask for your kids to put on a play for you. The options are endless. But you need to think about what would fill your cup and then make the request, or plan to put the activity in action.
Self-care is not stagnant and it constantly evolves. However, it is always needed. So, take this Mother’s Day to start or continue your self-care journey and then create a cyclical routine to address your needs throughout the year. Mom, as the holiday’s honoree, it is okay to plan it out exactly how you want. God Bless!
By Cheryl Thode