
As I write this column, I have been reflecting on the emotional roller coaster we, as Angelenos, have been on. I had in tended to focus this month’s column on love and showing love to yourself, others, and especially your kids during the stressful moments of our daily lives.
I wanted to discuss how I often find myself caught up with my endless to-do lists and responsibilities pulling for my attention and focus; and how I forget to be present and aware of the simple, beautiful, and important things going on around me.
I had planned on reminding you to take time to appreciate the little things, like your kids playing in the yard, an evening sunset, the smell of dew on the morning lawn, or your child’s unencumbered laugh.
However, after this past unifying wildfire experience, I believe no one reading this paper needs to be reminded of what is precious, wonderful, and fleeting in their lives. I am certain that each and every one of you, whether you were personally affected by the fires, knew someone affected, or just felt the change in our city’s energy, you took some time to reflect on what mattered to you, what you would save if you needed to flee, what was irreplaceable, and what you could do without.
It is these grinding moments that bring us back to the fragility of humanity. They remind us that time is limited, our futures uncertain, and that we all need each other to survive.
So, instead of my initial plan, I wanted to write about a topic that could hopefully build upon all of our collective recent reflections on what matters most. In this wonderful month of February, where we celebrate love for our partners and others, I wanted to encourage you all to spread grace, especially to yourself.
When we spread grace to someone, we treat them with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness, regardless of who they are, what they have done, and what they may do. Spreading grace means being patient, listening, offering support when needed, being present and experiencing events as they unfold, practicing gratitude, and most importantly, letting go of any negative feelings against yourself or others that are robbing you of your happiness.
Similarly, showing grace to yourself means treating yourself with compassion, empathy, and mercy. “Self-grace” can help you let go of personal criticism and shame, and move forward with a sense of self-compassion. Starting today, I encourage you to 1) Accept your flaws, everyone has them; 2) Practice self-compassion, there is no place for negative self-talk; 3) Forgive yourself, your mistakes are opportunities for growth; 4) Take care of yourself, give yourself attention and love; 5) Practice gratitude and acknowledge what you're proud of; and finally, 6) Let go of the need to be perfect, perfection does not exist.
While you may be practicing giving grace to others, give grace routinely, or are working on this skill, the action of giving grace is one that always comes back to its giver one-hundred fold. I will be the first to admit that I am not perfect at showing others grace, or myself for that matter. I am constantly working on it.
However, by showing a little more compassion, understanding, or love to another person who crosses my path, I, too, receive grace back. As I said in the beginning of this column, I often let the stress of my job, role as a mother and wife, drive to be a good and helpful daughter, and my want to be as supportive as possible to my friends block my view of the present and what is happening right in front of me.
Practicing grace has provided me with the “pause” to reflect and stop the rat-race.
As we move through the events of January and into the future, giving grace to your children, your partner, your parents, friends, coworkers, fellow neighbors, the strangers that come across your path, and especially yourself, will not only bring happiness to your own life, but also help our neighborhoods rise from the ashes.
Love to you all. God Bless and May Grace Be With You.
By Cheryl Thode
Comments